Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Forbidden Fruits

This blog is dedicated to a very special friend - Aruna

While thinking about what would be an appropriate topic for a 50th blog, one of my friends suggested writing about some of the things we had done, which would raise hell if our parents came to know, and give us so much pleasure. I had thought that was a good idea (though not for a 50th) and am going to talk about some of these. Being a Brahmin, you will obviously find alcohol a major part of the blog.
Talking of alcohol, remember when I was in eighth - my uncle poured me a small measure of beer which I hated. Promptly complained to my mother who yelled at him. In fact, it was her scolding him that made me slink up to him the next time and ask for some more. I was instructed never to tell her and a magical world of beer, campari, wine, baileys, vodka, ouzo, amaretto opened up. I can never forget how every friday my uncle would buy a couple of bottles and I would make some excuse to go to our balcony and gulp my "quota". The only sticky situation that arose was when a family friend commented to my mother as to how " hari enjoyed the food and beer" though my uncle bore the brunt of my mother's wrath. Moving on to college, it was my friend Satish who insisted we keep something in the house. Cycled for nearly 3 km to get a bottle of old monk. Will never forget the way I was looking left and right befor entering the shop. Managed to somehow get it inside and that was the begining of an era. It was Satish with whom I had gone to my first bar - a dingy one called SNS. Slunk in only to find my senior there............drinking a pepsi. One of the funniest moments I had. My college was EXTREMELY strict and it was an achievment to escape. My friend and I decided we needed to do a bunk and walked nearly 2 km, crouching and hiding behind shrubs. While we got out successfully, to our dismay the college bus reached just an hour later. Also remember how the entire college bunked one day before an exam and we were all peanalised. Can only laugh looking back. School had its tales of unruly behaviour too. With a couple of my friends ragging the PT master, and my friend and I placing a plastic spider on one of our teachers, the entire class was suspended. Unfortunately my mother chose that day to come to school and...............Also remember the time in school when we informed our teacher not to put his legs on the desk as we had cleaned the class. We got the class split for our efforts. A memorable incident in college is my TOEFL exam. Had already arranged with a couple of my friends to go to a bar after the exam , and the only thing I remember is how I rushed through the exam so as not to keep them waiting. Scored a score of 297 which definitely needed to be celebrated and we ended up going to two bars instead of one. The minute I got home started talking to my mom who immediately found out. Her impeccable logic went " If you weren't drunk you would have gone straight to your room, locked it and not spoken to me" Women!!! Anyway convinced her had some non alcoholic stuff that smelt like alcohol (I was one hell of a talker) and closed that chapter. Another incident I could never forget was my trip to hyderabad. We had a massive bash and my friend Girish and I decided to take an early morning walk to get him a fag. The look on the doorman's face when we shook him awake at 3 was priceless, as was the conversation we had well into the morning. Also remember when the entire class decided to beat up a guy who had "insulted" us. This led to the whole mech dept. being suspended. We would go to college for the record and be promptly put on a bus back home. The whole thing was how to hide it from our parents. I would go to my friends house nearby (he was in a room), stay with him till 3 50. At that time would quietly go back home as though I had come from college. Unfortunately a prof. who was very close to me got so worried he decided to talk to my mom and a volcano erupted. Again by a smooth tongue persuaded her that it was all ok and they could not suspend a class etc. When I joined work, we had an official party and decided to tell my mom about having a beer. Unfortunately my cell was off as I was also organising the party and my mom chose to call my friend Anandh who informed her that yes beer was served and no, neither him nor I had any. The next day when I called her the peculiar conversation followed :
Me: Hi, there was a party yesterday and had a couple of beers
Mom: No
Me: What??
Mom: You didn't
Me: Yes I did
Mom : Anandh said you didn't
Me: Yes we did
Mom: But he said..............
Me: I'M TELLING YOU I DID. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Women!!! To convince my mom I HAD a beer........my god.
After joining my present department in Sep, suddenly found myself with a lot of time on my hand. The obvious choice was to fill up time with a movie. What my mom did not know was that we had sometimes seen as many as 4 movies on the same day. Unfortunately, one of my friends got to know due to a chance remark I made and all hell broke loose.
These are some of the times where I have got a small bit of satisfaction, not by doing something wrong but by doing something hidden. What big men we become by having something to hide!!!

- Hari

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Fuck urself and hide